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Effective Communication - Is Honesty The Best Policy?
We are often told that being honest is the best policy, but very often, honesty isn't simply saying what we know or stating the facts. Honesty is an art: Does Honesty mean straight talk? No. If you say anything straight off your mind without considering the others’ feeling, disregard the sensitivity of the situation, you'll end up hurting others, and hurting people are most unlikely to agree with you no matter what! Honesty must be done with love and care. Straight talk always lacks diplomacy. Instead, speak with love from your heart, redefine your sentences and speak the same thing milder by cushioning the effect: Eg.:
A says,"If you need me, you can call me anytime." (A sincerely expects B to thank him and ask for his phone no.) B replies, "Thanks, but so far I'm still OK and don't need any help yet! (B has rejected A's offer, not wanting to burden A, but A now thinks that B is proud) Lesson to learn: Never reject good things, or you may come across as ungrateful, proud or undiplomatic. You may be sincerely wrong by being honest with your replies. Here is a better reply from B: "Thank you so much. May I have ur phone no. so that I can call you later if I need any help?" (B is humble to accept A's offer . He also keeps A as a friend or an ally for the future.)
Does honesty mean being transparent? No. If you criticize someone outright in a negative way, though you are just talking about the fact ie. the mistakes, he/she will be unrelenting because they are hurt and they may remain stubborn and argue on. The truth: He/she can change if you put it positively. Eg.:
Instead of saying, "Oh dear, You're so lazy, that's why you failed!" Say this: "Dear, you can work harder in order to pass." Be a developer ie. say what the person CAN BE, not what the person is. Is Honesty + wisdom good? Yes, Bible wisdom tells us to correct others GENTLY! Without wisdom in this, honesty can go awry! Is Honesty + humility good? Yes. An honest person must be humble to listen and accept others' opinions. Two heads are better than one. With humility, it is possible to learn and acquire wisdom. Can you lie if you're an honest person? Yes. If lying doesn't hurt anyone but just to protect yourself. This is sometimes called the 'white lies'. But unnecessary white lies should be avoided. Each time we lie, we lose a part of our dignity actually. So what's real honesty? Answer: Honesty = wisdom + humility + love for others
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This intel was contributed by grace
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May, 2012
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